How to Survive Early Grief: 8 Simple Reminders for the Impossible Days

This might seem basic. It might even seem a little silly.

Drink water. Go outside. Take a shower.

But here’s the thing about early grief, even the easiest things become impossible. When those waves hit, they hit hard. And suddenly the simplest tasks feel completely out of reach.

So if you need permission to start small today, here it is.

Give yourself grace. Give yourself understanding. You’re doing better than you think.

1. Stay Safe

Do it for yourself if you can. For others if you have to.

If you’re crying too hard to see the road, pull over. If you’re about to get behind the wheel, give yourself a minute first. Grief lives in the body. It’s not just emotional, it’s physical. Honor that.

2. Tend Something

Water the plants. Brush the dog. Bake something. Send a text to someone you love.

Turning your focus outward, even for just a few minutes, gives your nervous system a tiny break from the weight of it all. And tiny is enough right now. You don’t have to do anything big. Just tend something.

3. Get Outside

Nature won’t ask how you’re doing. The wind doesn’t need you to hold it together.

There is so much relief in being somewhere that requires absolutely nothing from you. No performance, no explanations, no holding it together. Just you and the air and whatever the sky looks like today.

Even five minutes counts.

4. Drink Water

Grief is physical. Crying is dehydrating. Stress is dehydrating. And dehydration makes all of it harder; the emotions, the fog, the exhaustion that goes bone-deep.

I know it feels like it doesn’t matter. Drink the water anyway. Your body needs it even when you don’t care.

5. Shower

I know. Just do it anyway.

You won’t feel fixed. But you will feel the tiniest bit better, and right now, tiny counts for everything. The same goes for any small act of care for your body. Clean clothes, a swept floor, brushing your teeth. It all adds up in ways you might not expect.

6. Move

Not to feel better. Not to fix anything. Just because your body is carrying something enormous right now, and movement can help it process what words can’t.

Whatever your body can do. A slow walk, some gentle stretching, just standing outside for a minute, that’s enough. You don’t have to earn it. You don’t have to push through. Just move, as you’re able.

7. Say No. Say Yes.

Say no to what’s too much. Say yes to anything that offers even a sliver of relief, comfort, or connection.

Your energy is precious right now. More precious than you may realize. You are allowed to protect it. You are allowed to decline things that drain you and accept things that help, even if that feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar.

Protecting yourself in grief isn’t selfish. It’s survival.

8. Eat

Grief changes your relationship with food. Some people eat everything in sight. Some people forget food exists entirely. Both are completely normal, and both matter.

If full meals feel like too much, go small and easy. Nutrient-dense snacks, something warm, whatever sounds remotely tolerable. Do what you can. Your body is working incredibly hard right now, even when you can’t feel it.

A Final Note

These aren’t rules. They’re just reminders.

You know yourself best. Add to this list, change it, make it entirely your own. Grief is disorienting in ways that are hard to describe until you’re in it. A little road map, even an imperfect one, can help.

And if you need someone to talk to, that’s exactly what I’m here for.

I work with grieving people as both a grief coach and a psychic medium, helping you find your footing in the impossible days and, when you’re ready, reconnect with the ones you’ve lost.

You don’t have to do this alone.

Jennifer Jeska is a certified grief educator, grief coach, and psychic medium serving clients worldwide via Zoom and in-person in the Twin Cities area. Learn more at jenniferjeskamedium.com.